I don’t know about you, but I’ve taken some hits in my life. Not literal hits, but those proverbial hits that knock our self-worth and beliefs in ourselves way down to the very bottom of the barrel.
It wasn’t long ago that I was facing one of the toughest times of my life. I found myself in the midst of a life-crisis – one of those times in your life when everything that you thought you ever knew comes crashing down in an instant.
You know how it goes. You dedicate your life to creating a beautiful career and family life for yourself, and suddenly it’s snatched away.
Listen, I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve conquered through it, and I’ve come out on the other end powerful and confident in who I am! Confidently, I can look in the mirror and know that I am the best mom I can be to three beautiful children, a loving and devoted wife to an Army veteran who deserves the world, and loyal and trusting friend who offers support and love whenever it is needed!
“I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve conquered through it, and I’ve come out on the other end powerful and confident”
I’ve gotten to that place in my life because of the constant check-in process that is self-discovery and self-worth. There will never be a time when I’ve “mastered” self-worth – no one can ever be 100% confident in loving themselves and understanding their self-worth. We have to remind ourselves what we are worth, what we owe ourselves, and how we can get there!
You may find yourself one day, like me, sitting at your beautiful (and very organized) office desk, looking out of the picturesque window of that corner office you drooled over for months, when suddenly your office phone rings. That walk down to the HR department is usually not one filled with upbeat background music pumping on the stereo as you make your way into the office.
But you know how the rest of the story goes – one minute you’re in, the next minute you’re out. And some would say that’s just how business goes…
After losing my job at a company I loved and valued greatly, I found myself in a huge slump wondering how I was ever going to find my way back out. But there was something that I realized almost an entire year after losing that job, and that was that I had invested so much of my time, my being, and my existence into that job, that I eventually lost my identity and ALL of my self-worth.
And while you’re sitting there shaking your head at how awful that must have been, you’ve been there, too. You’ve been sitting in the same position I am when you didn’t get the promotion you were promised, or that raise management swore you were going to get, or that bonus at the end of the quarter when your team met their goals.
But I remember the moment that I finally realized what I had actually lost that day walking out of that HR department. It was a realization that I had somehow lost who I thought I was – I thought I had lost my self-worth, my value in this world.
That wasn’t true, though. I didn’t lose who I was or what I stood for, but it was time for me to regain control – control of my desires, control of my self-love, and control of my life! I deserved so much more than what I left myself that day, and it was up to me to make it happen. No one else was in charge of my happiness or what I knew I was worth – that was all me!
My fight back from one of the lowest of lows in my life wasn’t easy, but it was completely worth the journey. There have been other times in my life where I’ve found myself in a place that was nothing but toxic – treated myself pretty terribly in my teens, got married when I was 19, and got divorced when I was 24.
To say my early teens to my early 20’s were full of sparkles and rainbows would be far from the truth, but they were full of something else: self-discovery.
I learned so much about who I was as a person during that time! There were obstacles and hurdles that I had to jump over and over again – but I did it. When I finally decided that I was going to jump every single time there was something in my way, my life changed dramatically.
You have to understand that when you reach low points in your life like I did (even after 12 years at a job I loved and valued greatly), there are two choices you can make:
→ sulk in the negative despair and wallow in your self-pity
→ get up and start making the changes you NEED to make to better yourself so you can move on and grow
I decided to do the moving on and growing thing – it worked for me!
And I’m going to guess that you’ve also experienced some of really self-worth damaging moments when it comes to your weight. How do I know that? I’m not a mind reader, but I do know what it’s like to struggle with weight and beat yourself up because you feel less-than what you should be.
All of that negative talk about my weight, why I wasn’t eating healthy foods, why I wasn’t working out like I needed to be, etc, etc… caused my self-worth to take a serious nosedive during my early years. And of course, because most women carry these negative body image comments around them for years and years, I carried them around with me until I had endured way too many years of those self-sabotaging comments.
When I decided to stop letting negative emotions and constant stress fuel my weight gain, like so many of us do, I was able to take back control of my life! The stress that life threw my way tended to keep me down a lot longer than it should have, but I couldn’t tear myself away from what stress did to me (and that was gain weight and keep it on). The vicious cycle continued until I made a conscious decision to make the changes that needed to happen.
And recognizing why I was treating myself so poorly by becoming consumed with negative self-talk was the first step in my body image healing process – one that I am so grateful I decided to go through!
You will find times like I did, when my self-worth was bottomed out to the lowest bottom you could imagine. And that will happen to all of us at one point or another, but that’s just part of life. It’s during those times that we learn the most about ourselves – who we are, what we stand for, and who we want to be.
Little by little, hurdle after hurdle, we learn more about where we want to go and who we want to be!
During the hardest times of my life, I found that personal development was HUGE for me. I would dive so deeply into every personal development book I could get my hands on, I found a great life partner in my husband who I’ve been with for 19 years, I created a beautiful life with my family, and I chose to take control over my own life rather than let anything or anyone dictate how I felt!
If you are like me, you know when it’s time to make a change. You know when it’s time to start valuing what you’re actually worth, saddle up that horse and start making the shift to do what needs to be done!
When I realized that my true calling was to help other entrepreneurs, just like you, rediscover their identity and regain control over their own lives, I finally understood what that dream job actually looked like for me! Finally, I could stand for something I believed in: the opportunity for everyone to live a better life. And it was my job to help them get there!
Your integrity, self-respect, and value matter beyond words – you are who you are, and you deserve the peace that comes with knowing AND owning that!
We never stop growing, learning, or evolving. There is a never-ending cycle in our lives that takes on journeys through self-discovery. It’s what we choose to do with those moments of learning that define who we are.
I am living, breathing proof that stepping into that power of self-discovery is life-changing, immeasurable, and empowering. You don’t have to be stuck anymore – you CAN live the life you have always dreamed of while wholly loving yourself throughout the entire process!
So remember this: discovering and holding your self-worth up to the highest standard is a constant check-in process. You will continue to learn to love yourself and grow as a person. It’s the moment you stop embracing that learning and stop being fearless that you will lose sight of who you are and what you’re worth.
Your fearless revitalization awaits you. What are you waiting for?